From Care 2: Halloween Costumes to Scare 'Greens'

Global Warming Denier
Costume: Black and white feathers and a big bucket of sand: insert head.
Catch phrase: It's a little muffled because of the sand, but it sounds like "I don't see any problem!"
Why it's scary: Because more Americans believe in haunted houses than human-caused climate change.

Mantra Maid
Costume: Matching fair-trade organic yoga outfit, not an unsightly bump to be seen. Perky ponytail. Double jointed hip sockets, soothing voice.
Catch Phrase: "Beautiful!"
Why it's scary: Because even though you know yoga is not a competitive sport, this person is so darned perfect. Grrrrr.

Clean Coal Guy
Costume: Pigpen meets Bernie Madoff: sharp suit, slicked-back hair, stovepipe hat emitting puffs of toxic smoke alternating with streams of poisoned, um, water.
Catch phrase: "We gotta lot of coal and it's CHEAP!"
Why it's scary: Because it's proof that spin doctors can make anything sound like a good idea. (see also: Relax, CO2 Is Good For You)

Food Cop
Costume: Large recycled box of all-natural, local vegetables; flax-seed earrings
Catch phrase: "Your body's a temple--do you know what's in that candy bar?"
Why it's scary: Because like Mantra Maid, Food Cop reminds you that you could always be doing better, and that macaroni and cheese out of a box is more sinful than sloth, lust and avarice combined.

Polar Ice-less Dude
Costume: Dress like a large glass of water…it's too warm to freeze.
Catch Phrase: "I'm melting…meeeeelting!"
Why it's scary: Because it's coming true.

Apathy Chick:
Costume: Sweatshop-made designer togs, keys to Hummer around her neck, baby seal fur ear muffs.
Catch Phrase: "Whatever."
Why it's scary: Because nothing is more frightening and dangerous for us right now than not caring.

Comments

[generic Niagra]

Costume: Large recycled box of all-natural, local vegetables; flax-seed earrings
Catch phrase: "Your body's a temple--do you know what's in that candy bar?"
Why it's scary: Because like Mantra Maid, Food Cop reminds you that you could always be doing better, and that macaroni and cheese out of a box is more sinful than sloth, lust and avarice combined.