The Last Lie

cross-posted at Democracy Cell Project, written by Christy Cole of Louisiana, photos by DiAnne Grieser of Seattle.

Not too long ago, seemingly out of the blue, I was suddenly bombarded by forwarded emails. We all know the type. Patriotic themed and usually opening with a Mexican 'joke'. All of them had buzzwords in them like 'Freedom' and some even threw in Jesus for no apparent reason at all. In one such email, I was 'reminded' that 'only Jesus and US Soldiers were ever willing to die for me'.

I remember staring at that line for a long time, thinking nothing, trying to think nothing. The words just sat there in front of me, and without meaning too, I started thinking about its meaning. I started thinking about what the sender wanted it to mean to me. I started asking myself had I ever known anyone else willing to 'die for me'?

I remembered a Mexican who once loved me, and yes, I had no doubt he would have lay down his life for me, had he been asked. My mother, certainly typical of 'mothers' would die for me. My lover, a good and honest man, him too, if it came to the ultimate sacrifice to be made in my name, I have no doubts he would volunteer to lay down his life for me. For any of those 3 and for my own children, I also would gladly face death so that any one of them could live.

And yet the words still sat there, telling me only Jesus and U.S. Soldiers were ever willing to die FOR ME.

Now, I get the Jesus thing. Even if it only makes sense in a religious context, that is how religion works. Believe it anyway, even if it seems somewhat conflated. I wasn't around to commit any sins, so saying He died for my sins may seem like hubris, but I guess it all depends on your own personal theology.

Which leaves us with the part about US soldiers dying for me. Let's stop here for a moment, as we examine the conflicts my nation’s soldiers have been involved in since my birth during the final stages of the Vietnam War. Much of my early life was shaped by that distant conflict. The politics of it, the freshness of the wounds and pain. The confusion. The lies. Our population had to grapple with a military loss, handed to them by an unlikely enemy.

As I sat there and looked at that email, I could not help but ask myself did any of the soldiers who died there, actually die 'for me'? As far as I know, not a single Vietnamese could have affected my freedom, or threatened my life, or even the lives of those around me. My nation’s soldiers killed over 3 million people in that conflict, and for the life of me, I can not think of a single benefit to myself or anyone I love or even know that was gained by their sacrifice. All I ever saw of it was a bunch of dead people, who died for no damn reason, except to fill the coffers of war profiteers. As far as I can see, no one except war profiteers gained anything from it at all.

And yet, for all my life, I was told even by the smartest of people, that the U.S. Soldiers who died there, 'were dying for me'. At what point does a talking point become an insidious lie?

And now here we are, in yet another distant conflict that was started with the most bold and obvious lies possible. Once again we are killing foreign people in foreign lands. Our soldiers die, their people are dying, for no rational explanation at all. Our nation has gained nothing but scorn and bankruptcy for it, yet still the killing goes on. We have become known torturers, and I suppose there are those who will still insist we had to torture people, because they are being tortured for me. As if my life is somehow better for it.

I am fully aware that many people who read this will say 'How dare she!?' How dare I suggest they are NOT dying for me? Because they are not. I would never sacrifice my nation’s soldiers so callously and for no gains. Some will claim I have no love for our soldiers. What I want to know is how they can claim to love our soldiers while justifying sacrificing them for lies and talking points? The ones that claim to be the most patriotic among us, have no qualms about sending these men and women to die for lies, yet they will question my patriotism for suggesting they are not dying for me. That I gain nothing for it, they can not hear. They will not hear it. Their lie is exposed when I say no Iraqi could have ever been a threat to me or anything I know.

If U.S. Soldiers are not dying for me...Then what the hell are they dying for? That is a much better question than to wonder about my own desire for them to live to fight another day.

As I sat there and looked at that email, I decided it would be the last lie I would be told. It is the Last Great Lie. An All American Lie. A lie calculated to make us feel too guilty to question its truthfulness. If they are dying 'for me' then I must be grateful, right? We all must be, because to question it makes us 'unpatriotic '… ungrateful…UnAmerican.'

Which is strange, because killing and torturing people for no reason at all except the greed of war profiteers is what I would say is the very definition of 'UnAmerican'.

For the rest of my life, this lie will never again go unchallenged. The blood of my nation’s soldiers will not be thrown onto my conscience in order to ease the minds of others who also can not fully explain what our soldiers are dying for.

Comments

[kayakbiker]

What a poignant pairing of prose and images. The most impressive diary I have read in a while, and there have been many good ones lately on Dailykos and Docudharma.

[Eyewitness account]

Thanks! I was excited that we got a little southern input too, & from someone who doesn't get
all "progressive" email forwards. (I think we all get a mix, but I liked this so much I asked
Christy if I could put it with the photos - it inspired me to hunt up all these old photos that
kind of haunted me because of some of them are like the visuals to the mentality of the ignorant
though possibly sometimes well-intentioned email forwards)

[Christy]

Thanks you guys. It is good to know I am not alone in thinking such ....It is just a mess, isn't it?

I can't sleep tonight again. I close my eyes and all I see is nightmares. The same freaking nightmare I saw with my eyes open.