Indy
How could you explain unified field theory to W?
He should believe it if you merely sounded sincere and were a friend of his, like the guy denying being on steroids.
Posted by: D from Seattle at 10:43 AM
Posted by: Indy from Texas 11:23 AM
Okay...you asked for it...
W, let me tell you about String Theory and how this unifies decades of work by Quantum Physics and the life's work of Albert Einstein.
Ya' see...there are these scientific like fellas and ladies with degrees hanging on their walls...yes there are lady scientists W...they are much smarter than you and me. They figured based on Newtonian physics...you know the fella who had the apple hit him in the head that discovered gravity? Yes W...that is funny...the apple fell out of the tree and hit him in the head...okay W...its not THAT funny...Well then Einstein...yes W...that crazy looking German guy...who figured that energy (E) was equal to the mass of an object(M)...how much it weighs...and the speed of light(c2)...which is really really quick...see its there...then its already over there...stop turning your head W...you can't see light move...its really really fast...yes W faster than the space shuttle.
Okay, so this Einstein fella, he cifered that E=MC2 and that gravity was not just 'cause of all this mass of an object, but actually creates a "well" in the fabric of space time...what's that W? No, I am not saying space is made of fabric and no gravity does NOT come from the well on your ranch...we are talking about really really big things...no W...even bigger than the White House...no W even bigger than Texas...no W you are not getting it yet...
Okay, let's try this again...you like saying nuclear...no...not nookular W...Noo-clee-ar...oh forget it...
Look...so these really sharp fellas and ladies cifered that they had to explain what happened with really really small things...and Quantum physics tries to explain the behavior of even smaller particles. These particles are things like electrons, protons, and neutrons. Quantum physics even describes the particles which make these particles! What's that W? How do we know? Through experimentation W...no W not in those test tube thingys...much much smaller. Oh, you do remember the model of the atom in high school? No W atoms are not that big...we are talkin' really really really small...like your IQ...
That's right; the model of an atom that you were taught in high-school is wrong. Yes W...wrong...I know you feel that nice scientific like fella in the lab coat was telling you the truth, but we have learned a lot since you went to school.
The electrons don't orbit like planets; they form blurred clouds of probabilities around the nucleus. What are protons and neutrons? They're each made of three quarks, each with its own 'flavor' and one of three 'colors'. No W you can't have a Quark-cream cone...W if you want me to explain this you have to stop snickering...okay, let's not forget the gluons, the even smaller particles that hold this mess together when they collect and form glueballs. No W, not the paste you used to eat in school...No W, NASA did not invent gluons... Why weren't you told about this already?
You took math and physics in high school and college didn't you W? Oh...I see...you forgot you went to college???
I guess you'll have to ask Karl about that one W...
You know what W? Let's just go chase some armadillos, you like to chase them armadillos don'tcha' W?
That's what I thought...
Yeehaw yippie ay'yeah!
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